Not all of the booth babes were happy to have Patrick rubbing up against them. There were countless girls that turned the cold shoulder to Patrick, letting him know that Defunct Games was not welcome in their personal space. Perhaps they are big fans of GamePro or feel that Defunct Games was unfair to Dawn G. when she claimed to have created Harry Potter. Whatever the case, Patrick was rejected more than he would like to admit.

Patrick wasn't going to give up without a fight, though. In Kentia Hall he stood for a good half hour waiting to get the attention of a booth babe who was clearly doing her best to ignore his advances (above, right). If you look closely you will see Street Fighter II being played in the background, yet another example of the cutting edge stuff you find in Kentia Hall. Street Fighter: 1, Getting Picture with Booth Babe: 0. Perhaps it's time to get out of Kentia Hall.


A man can only take so much rejection, so Patrick decided to hit up a few booth babes he knew wouldn't turn him away. First up was a tribe of scary booth babes (above, left), complete with extremely ugly face paint and spears. Patrick knew he was in luck because nobody was giving these three girls any attention at all. Maybe it was their second-rate clothing, their lack of consistent nylons, or the fact that they looked like they were going to hurt you, but whatever the case, nobody wanted to get their picture taken with these gals. But Patrick had just been rejected a number of times in often humiliating ways, he was ready for somebody, anybody to give him some attention.

Heck, his confidence was so low after those rejections that he was willing to hug a guy in a Katamari Damacy costume (above, right) ... now that's saying something. Nobody will know what was going through Patrick's mind when he was hugging the Prince, but afterwards he seemed happier, as if hugging a guy was all he needed. I can only imagine how much better it would have been if the Prince had hugged Patrick back. Poor Patrick.


Patrick had finally dealt with his rejection issue and was on to find the next group of women to snuggle up against. It wouldn't be long before he found a group of women willing to have their picture taken with him (above). Unfortunately, the women Patrick found completely lost interest in the photo just before the flash went off. Just by looking at it you can tell that Patrick is the only one even remotely interested in the picture. But who cares? It's not like Patrick knew what they were promoting, and hey, what are those red bags they're holding? Why didn't you get one of those Pat??


As Patrick searched around the convention for more booth babes to rub up against, his trusty camera man decided to head out on his own. With nothing more than a digital camera in hand, the cameraman hit the road to cover the girls Patrick couldn't find. But he knew he wouldn't be able to escape Patrick for long, so he cut through the Gizmondo section hoping he's never be located there. But Patrick was persistent and decided to yell and scream until he found his missing cameraman. His yelling even caught the attention of some booth babes (above, left) who made it a point to stay away from Patrick the rest of the show.

The cameraman decided it would be safer to duck into another part of the convention, far away from earshot of Patrick's incessant screaming. It was when he retraced his steps that the cameraman realized that other, uglier men were getting their picture taken with Patrick's women (above, right). It was at that precise moment that the cameraman had an epiphany.


As the cameraman looked around at all the pretty girls, he realized that it wasn't Patrick that had the power. These girls didn't care about Patrick; it was the cameraman they were interested in. Had Patrick not had the guy with the camera tagging along he would never have been able to get close to these models and failed actresses. At all, these booth babes weren't smiling at Patrick, they were almost always looking squarely at the cameraman! Some of these girls were only a few months away from paying bills with porno money, but without the cameraman, Patrick would have been forced to merely play the games and enjoy the girls from afar.

In this strange world of E3 it's the cameraman with all the power. He's the guy who controls everything ... and the girls know it. So while Patrick goes home with the memory that he has just rubbed up against a lot of large breasted women, it's the cameraman that can grin knowing he controls everything, and they are really smiling for him. It's funny how much good a simple digital camera can do.