WALL OF TEXT EXPLAINED: What you're looking at is an episode of Countdown w/ Defunct Games published before 2006. As you can tell, something has gone horribly awry. I won't bore you with the technical details, but it has to do with the old layout being incompatible with the new. Eventually, we would like to retrofit these old episodes of Countdown, but that will require a significant amount of time. As Defunct Games has only a limited staff, we aren't sure when we'll have the chance to fix this article. If you absolutely need to know what this article said, get a hold of us on Twitter or leave a message in the comment section below. Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you will enjoy the episodes created post-2006.

#5 The Return of XFL Don't believe me? I have spent sleepless nights worried that there'd be a knock at my door and somebody telling me that the XFL was back, and ready for another season. At one time I dreaded reality TV, but thankfully the XFL has cured me of that. Hopefully we can put this awful time past us. Maybe even move on with the top ten list. #4 Emeril He's on the Food Network 17 hours a day, and has a failing NBC show. And he's popular as ever, that alone doesn't scare me, but just the mere mention of his name makes my hair stands on end. Perhaps it's that "BAM!" catch phrase. Regardless, the man just scares me. #3 Britney Spears in Video Games This recently signed pop star has more than a few things to prove, among them: why she deserves a video game! If it's a dancing simulator I know the world is about to come to an end! I remember the Spice Girls PlayStation game, and I remember the Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen games, and I don't think I have the stomach for more. #2 People that Threaten the Freedom of Speech That means both White House spokesman Ari Fleischer and long time anti-video game champion Joseph Lieberman. What with Ari Fleischer's anti-American "you better watch what you say" rhetoric and Joseph Lieberman speaking up every year about tragedies like Doom and Mortal Kombat, it's hard to even remember what this country was founded on. The fact that these two men are so powerful makes me just a little scared, and brings back McArthy era of thinking. #1 Nintendo 64 Everybody may say the biggest Nintendo mistake was the Virtual Boy, but I beg to differ. I have nothing against the really good Nintendo 64 games, but by and large, the Nintendo 64 proved just how out of touch Nintendo was with the common gamer. Three games a month, only a handful of AAA titles, and too many ports of superior PlayStation games hurts this system. And don't get me started about the carts and losing Square (and the complete lack of Role Playing Games). Shudder. What, Me Worry? What does a Defunct Halloween sound like? Well, for our first Halloween Defunct Games is ready to provide you with all sorts of ghoulish thrills. What are we talking about? Well, just look at what we have for you today ...