WALL OF TEXT EXPLAINED: What you're looking at is an episode of Countdown w/ Defunct Games published before 2006. As you can tell, something has gone horribly awry. I won't bore you with the technical details, but it has to do with the old layout being incompatible with the new. Eventually, we would like to retrofit these old episodes of Countdown, but that will require a significant amount of time. As Defunct Games has only a limited staff, we aren't sure when we'll have the chance to fix this article. If you absolutely need to know what this article said, get a hold of us on Twitter or leave a message in the comment section below. Sorry for the inconvenience. I hope you will enjoy the episodes created post-2006.

#10 Don't Preach! I never thought I would say this, but sometimes a video game is just a video game! I love movies and books that promote a specific political agenda or viewpoint, but I can only tolerate so much in a video game. Metal Gear Solid 2: the Sons of Liberty was a fun game, no doubt about it, but the last hour and a half was more preachy than a minister on Sunday morning! When you feel bad about yourself after playing a game, that might be a clue that the subject matter was a little too profound. Nobody loves a good conspiracy game more than me, but leave the judgments at home. #9 Don't Just released One Game of the Series! Thankfully this pet peeve doesn't come into play very often, but when it does it's one of the most aggravating events a U.S. gamer could suffer. Take Shining Force III, for example. This Sega Saturn title was released to glowing reviews in the United States, and managed to sell fairly well, all things considered. But what many American gamers didn't know was that the game actually had two more parts. Instead of releasing all three parts in the U.S., as they did in Japan, they gave us one game that had a sequel ending. To this day American gamers haven't been able to find out what happened to their favorite characters, and it looks like they never will. #8 First party games that have no intention of going online While Microsoft makes sure that all of their first party games are playable online, or will at least have downloadable content, Sony is another story. Sure they have a few of the best online experiences, including SOCOM and Amplitude, but what about first party efforts like Downhill Domination and War of the Monsters?? Both of these games were developed by Incog Inc, who has had some experience with the whole online medium, since they also made Twisted Metal Black: Online. So what's the excuse? If you expect third parties to include online components into their titles, you better lead by example! #7 When a game is remade for no reason at all These days it seems like almost every company is employing their classic characters for just about everything. But you really shouldn't use the name unless you intend to actually include the things we know and love about the series. I was a huge Shinobi fan, for example, but on the PlayStation 2 the game doesn't have anything to do with the classic 2D side scroller. And what's with Rygar? Sure we have the disc armor, but why is he fighting in Roman times?? Trust me, I liked both of these games, but I loved the originals even more. In this day and age it's not enough to put a name on a product and expect it to sell, you really have to recapture the memory and spirit of the game. #6 Why do we only get a couple of angles? Do you remember how great it was when you first played Virtua Racing? It was one of the first racing games, if not THE first, to actually offer more than one camera angle. Before that games came with pretty much one camera angle, since they were usually drawn with sprites and not polygons. But Virtua Racer used four angles, and paved the way for many racers. But these days it seems like you only get two or three different ways of looking at the car. Since all these games are using polygons, there is almost no reason why these racers couldn't have four, five, six, or even seven different viewpoints! Grand Theft Auto III did it, and that's not even a racing game. When you can't give us more than a first person and third person angle, it just looks like laziness. #5 When companies limit the amount of time you can buy a game For millions of gamers, getting a game when it first comes out is a must. There's nothing like being the first of your friends to beat a game, get all the good stuff, or practice up for their first multi-player encounter. But then, there are also millions that wait a few months, perhaps even years, before getting turned onto a title. But there are some companies, and some games, that seem to forget a large percentage of the gaming public. Companies like Working Designs and games like Ogre Battle and Lunar are released for a few months, and then become nothing more than a collector's items. I know George Lucas made it work with Star Wars, and E.T. is one of the most sought after movies in the world, but games are to be enjoyed, not collected. If you're going to release a game, make sure it stays on the shelf for at least a few years!! #4 Light Gun games that take longer to SAY than FINISH One of the biggest mainstays of the arcade is the old trusty gun game. This proven genre hasn't changed all that much since the days of Lethal Enforcers and Mad Dog McCree, which can be both a good thing, and a really terrible thing. When released on home systems, light gun games tend to be almost exactly the same, which means they tend to be easy to pick up, and deathly short. Some light gun games have as few as three or four levels, and very little more to do when you're done. Even recent examples, like House of the Dead III, don't offer more than 30 minutes worth of a game, which is certainly not worth it considering you have to buck up more for the game AND a gun. Either give us more game, or don't give us these games at all! #3 Stop grading me based on how long it takes me to beat the game! Now I hope Capcom is listening, because this is directed at them. Who ever thought that grading somebody based on how many times you save or how long it takes you to beat the game, should be taken out back and shot! The urgency from Resident Evil should come from the atmosphere, the story, and the enemies, but not from you knowing that it's going to give you a poor score if you take more than four hours! And who really cares how many times you save? What does it tell you about the game player? As far as I can tell, anybody who saves a lot is pretty cautious, and that's not exactly the worse virtue to have when you're in a mansion full of zombies. #2 Stop advertising in video games It was novel to see Red Bull billboards in WipEout XL, and it's a must in the Gran Turismo series. But some games just go too far. In Sony's recent SSX-inspired Bike game, Downhill Domination, everywhere you look it's another commercial. If it's not Amazon.com it's eBay, and we can't forget Ogio or Balance or any of the other hundred sponsors of the game. Would you see this in real life, sure, but this isn't real life. You can make up fun fake advertisers like Grand Theft Auto, or even leave it up to the fans, but so much of our lives is spent trying to ignore advertising we just don't need it in our video games. #1 Directions on how to insert your game in every instruction booklet I know the common belief is that technology is difficult, and you need instructions for everything, but this is just ridiculous!! Ever since the days of the Nintendo Entertainment System (and probably before then) game makers have been explaining how to insert their game into the system. Who is that gamer that couldn't figure out how to load a Super NES or PlayStation game?? Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying this information should be taken away, I'm just saying it should be in the game system's instructions, and not in every single video game. If you can't figure out how to load the game and plug the control in, then you shouldn't be playing games, period. Question: You've done a great job listing your many complaints about the video game world, but what about human pet peeves? Are there things that gamers do that drive you up the wall?? Oh certainly there are, I really hate gamers who already hate a type of game just based on how it looks or what system it's on. I remember years ago when some bullheaded gamers wouldn't embrace polygons, because they enjoyed their 2D fighting games or their hand-drawn action platformers. These days some gamers can't seem to see past the whole cel-shaded concept, as if it affected the game play in some extreme sense. The Legend of Zelda: the Wind Waker would have been a great game no matter what it looked like, and anybody who can't get over the Saturday-morning cartoon look shouldn't be judging video games in the first place. I also find a lot of gamers who aren't willing to play fair. Now that all three systems are connected to the internet, cheating has become an all too common experience. No matter if it's SOCOM or a good game of Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, cheaters have taken over. Even a secure set-up, like the Xbox Live, isn't immune to cheaters, games like Capcom vs. SNK 2 EO are breeding grounds for these vermin of the gaming community. These are the worst kind of gamers, those who cannot win without cheating.