This Week In Defunct Games - March 15, 2007

What Is It? When it comes to 8-bit sports games your choices are somewhat limited. While there were definitely a lot of attempts, most sports games weren't worth looking at ... let alone playing. Don't believe me? Just take a look at Soccer on the NES. But Tecmo Bowl was different; it managed to take everything that was fun about video games and mix it with a surprisingly deep football experience. When we think back to all of the great football games released over the past twenty years there are a few names. A lot of people bring up Madden and some might mention the NFL 2K series on the Dreamcast, but it's Tecmo Bowl that everybody can agree on. It's the perfect mix of over-the-top action and simulation, it's not the most realistic footballer on the planet, but it is one of the most fun.

Does It Still Hold Up? Absolutely, what makes Tecmo Bowl so much fun is that there's nothing quite like it anymore. Perhaps it's because we're so used to Madden and other simulators, but there's something about the relatively simple game play that makes Tecmo Bowl so worth playing. Best of all, Tecmo Bowl is a perfect two player game, it's fast, it's exciting and it's a whole lot of fun to play.

Is It Worth The Money? Seeing as it's only five dollars it's hard to go wrong with Tecmo Bowl. Chances are you will have more fun with this $5 footballer than you will with the last two iterations of the Madden franchise ... and really, that's kind of sad.

What Is It? Back in the mid 1990s Sega knew they had a hit on their hands, so they did everything they could to capitalize on the success of Sonic the Hedgehog. Unfortunately this meant that Sonic fans had to endure spin-offs like Knuckles Chaotix, Sonic R and this terrible pinball game. Sonic Spinball started with good intentions, thanks to certain levels in previous Sonic the Hedgehog games the idea of pinball wasn't that crazy. The problem is that this game couldn't quite turn Sonic into a convincing pinball character; instead we got a floaty game that felt more like a mini-game than a real product that was being sold at full price. Worse yet, the graphics, sounds and longevity took a major hit with this release; it's hard to imagine anybody sitting in front of this game for more than a few minutes without getting bored.

Does It Still Hold Up? Does it hold up? Did it ever hold up? Sonic Spinball wasn't well received back when it was originally released, so I can't imagine why anybody would be excited to see it come to the home console again. It's true that there is a lack of quality pinball games these days, but there's no reason to go through this half-assed version when you could play the real thing. If you're really hard up for pinball then go pick up Metroid Pinball or that Pokemon Pinball game. Whatever you do, ignore this horrible Sonic spin-off.

Is It Worth The Money? It wasn't worth the money at $50 when it was first released and it certainly isn't worth $8 today. You can find this and about a dozen other Sonic games on other compilation discs (see: Sonic Mega Collection) for a fraction of the price. Why pay $8 for this when you could go out and buy a dozen Sonic games for $10?

What Is It? The 16-bit era had a lot of great role-playing games worth going back and revisiting, but you wouldn't know it based on the games released on the Virtual Console. First it was Sword of Vermillion and now it's Double Dungeon? Where's Phantasy Star II? Where's Chrono Trigger? Where's Secret of Mana? Instead we are left with this weird first-person role-playing game that is sluggish, ugly and no fun at all. It lacks originality and is just plain boring to play. I do like the idea of playing an RPG with a friend, but this game doesn't do that concept justice. Double Dungeon isn't the worst game of all time or anything, but this is the type of game that will remind you why so many old school RPGs were hit or miss. Sadly, this one's a miss.

Does It Still Hold Up? Heavens no, this is definitely not one of those games that you will be fondly look back on. In fact, this is a downright ugly, boring adventure that will only show you how much better current RPGs are. Even with a second player this first-person dungeon hack is not worth your time.

Is It Worth The Money? Not only is Double Dungeons not worth your time, but it's not worth your money either. Even at $6 this game feels overpriced, it's just not that exciting and it's hard to enjoy a game whose sole purpose is to make you not have fun. There are a lot of great TurboGrafx-16 games to buy on the Virtual Console, but this is not one of them.

What Is It? It's only the greatest party game of all time. While some might argue that Super Smash Bros. or Bomberman should take the top honors for the greatest party game of all time, I am going to go as far as to say that Worms is king. Based on the 1994 computer game, Worms on the Xbox Live Arcade is not exactly an "old" game, but it is something that remains true to its retro roots. Worms is a turn based action game that has you placing four worm soldiers and trying to kill everybody else's worms. The real star of this game is that you can use a whole bunch of crazy weapons, including bazookas, a shotgun, grenades, and even a sheep. While some of the best weapons have been excised from this version of the game, it's still worth playing if only for the brilliant online mode. Regardless of whether you have a bunch of friends over or you want to play online, Worms is a great game full of cute characters and tons of depth.

Does It Still Hold Up? You better believe it does, Worms is one of the best games on the Xbox Live Arcade, even with the limited number of weapons and skimpy background selection. The reason this game is so much fun is because it works well as a multiplayer game, there's just something inherently cool about blowing up your friends. This Xbox Live Arcade version is especially cool because of the online functions, a first for any console version of Worms.

Is It Worth The Money? You better believe it is, it may not have as many weapons as the Worms Armageddon or other titles in the series, but it's also a fraction of the price ($8). I would spend $8 to get the game if only for the online mode, but thankfully the game is fun when you have friends over. If you don't have any friends and you hate playing online then Worms is not for you, but everybody else should get ready to buy up those Microsoft points.

What Is It? It's the 1989 Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles arcade game, stupid. Talk about giving the fans what they want, Konami and Ubisoft came together to deliver one of the greatest arcade games of all time, now with complete online support. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles isn't a very deep game, it's a short action game that only uses two buttons and is full of cheap deaths. But it's also a blast to play with friends and it's great to not only see the turtles again, but also hear that infectious theme song. The turtles may not be as cool today as they were nearly twenty years ago, but that shouldn't keep you from enjoying this crazy four-player brawler.

Does It Still Hold Up? There are a couple of ways of looking at this, on one hand the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is a throwback to a simpler time when all you had to do was mash buttons and continue. But on the flip side you have to worry about the fact that we've come a long way since the days of Shredder, Splinter and Krang. If you're too young to remember this arcade game and you've only grown up with 3D graphics then chances are you're going to be confused by what the big deal is. But if you remember this classic then you're going to do back flips over this game.

Is It Worth The Money? Cowabunga, dude!! Of course the game is worth your money, especially since it's only $5. Not only do you get a fun action game, but you can also play it online. And did I mention the achievements? At an hour in length this is one game you won't get bored of, and it's actually a lot of fun to go back through it time and time again. It's not for everybody, but the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are at the top of their game in this Xbox Live Arcade game.

What Is It? It's one of the greatest racing games ever to grace the original PlayStation. It's fast, it has great music, and the weapons-based combat turns this into something more than just another racing game. Of course, it also has to compete with the likes of WipEout Pure, the PSP's very own WipEout game (which featured levels found in the original WipEout). While WipEout is still a lot of fun, it's hard not to notice how much the series has improved in the past decade, especially when it comes to the controls. Still, it's fun to go back and see where the series started, if only to recognize how much better we have it these days.

Does It Still Hold Up? Compared to the original Ridge Racer and other early PlayStation racers, I would say that WipEout does hold up. However, it still suffers from control issues and is primarily a one-player experience. Having said that, there are people who only recently got into this series and want to see where it started, but those people would be better served by tracking down the far superior WipEout XL.

Is It Worth The Money? It's hard to recommend this download when the PSP version of WipEout Pure is so cheap, especially since some of the tracks in this game are also in the PSP version. It's not a bad price, but there are a lot of better games you could spend that money on. WipEout is a great game, but there are better versions of it already available on the system you are using to play it.