This Week In Defunct Games - May 24, 2007

What Is It? For some odd reason back in the mid-1990s Nintendo forgot about Mario and Luigi. Even though both Super Mario World and Yoshi's Island were smash hits, Nintendo decided to ignore the Italian plumber and make a bunch of really dull Donkey Kong Country games. Anybody old enough to remember the Super NES should already know that despite its boring gameplay and lame level designs, Donkey Kong Country was extremely popular. Of course, there's there a reason that this series was popular that has nothing to do with quality gameplay. Instead people bought the Donkey Kong Country series because it used stunning pre-rendered 3-D graphics, something that was brand new at the time. Even today the game looks good, all of the characters, enemies and backgrounds have this nice computer rendered look, making it look completely different from the other 2D platformers of the era. Despite the fact that Donkey Kong's name is in the title, you never actually play as the great ape. Instead you play as Diddy Kong and Dixie Kong, as they travel throughout the world finding secret locations, collecting bonus items, and battling impressive looking bosses. If you're looking for one of the prettiest 2D platformers of all time then Diddy Kong Quest is one to look for, unfortunately those looking for good gameplay and interesting levels will no doubt be disappointed.

Does It Still Hold Up? Some crazy people actually consider Donkey Kong Country 2 - Diddy Kong Quest to be a Nintendo classic, the type of game that you talk about in the same breath as Super Mario Bros. 3 and Super Metroid. Those people are wrong. Diddy Kong Quest is definitely not one of Nintendo's best; it's a dull action game that looks shiny and has plenty of secrets, only to suffer from being boring and ultimately pointless. Looking back on the game all these years later it's even easier to see that the Donkey Kong Country series was all style and no substance. Nintendo and Rare managed to get the look and feel right, but Diddy Kong can never quite get the fun and excitement of other 16-bit platformers. This game wasn't good back then, and I'm not the biggest fan of it all these years later.

Is It Worth The Money? If you're the type of gamer who loved this series back in the day and want to relive your memories then $8 seems like a reasonable price. However, if you're thinking about playing this for the first time because all of your friends loved it ten years ago, then buddy, you need to think again. Diddy Kong Quest isn't Nintendo's worst platformer, but it definitely pales in comparison to all of the great work Big N has done in the past. I would say save your money, but I have a hunch that those Donkey Kong fans are going to buy it regardless of what I say ... they're crazy like that!

What Is It? Forget Final Fight, Streets of Rage 2 is the only 16-bit brawler you'll ever need. Streets of Rage 2 does more than offer new characters and locations, nearly every aspect of this 1993 beat-em-up has been completely redone. All it takes is one look at the brand new graphics (that still look good, I might add) and you'll see that a lot of time and energy went into making this one of the best looking Genesis games of all time. There are also more ways of hurting your opponents, which is always a plus in this kind of game. Along with the improved gameplay and graphics, Streets of Rage 2 also offers brand new heroes, better bosses, and a ton of weird locations. In fact, the crazy locations are one of the reasons this game is so memorable. Streets of Rage 2 is more than happy to take you off of the regular beaten path in order to make you fight in all kinds of over-the-top areas. I'm talking about everything from and amusement park, a sports stadium, and even a large boat. While critics can argue that it's not that much different from other Double Dragon clones of that era, it's hard to deny that Streets of Rage 2 does this type of game better than just about anything else.

Does It Still Hold Up? As is always the case when we review classic brawlers, Streets of Rage 2 suffers from somewhat repetitious gameplay. So much of this game is about mashing buttons and dodging other people's attacks, and you'll be doing that from beginning to end without much of a break. Still, this is one of those games that is insanely fun to go through with other people. I would argue that the only way Sega could have made this any better was if they added a four-player mode, but alas this is just a two-player experience.

Is It Worth The Money? If you're the type of gamer who loves old school brawlers like Double Dragon and Final Fight, then you owe it to yourself to pay the $8 and buy Streets of Rage 2. While it's short and a little on the repetitive side, chances are you'll be stunned at how fun the game still is. This is one of the best Virtual Console titles to come around in a long time, which is why it's so easy to recommend. The only real disappointment I have is that you can't play people online using the Wii, something that is standard on the Xbox Live Arcade.

What Is It? Blazing Lazers [sic] is one of the earliest 2D shooters to ever make it to the TurboGrafx-16, it's nine levels of non-stop action. Like most shooters of the era, Blazing Lazers offers very little in the way of story. Instead you get tons of enemies, tons of levels and tons of really cool power-ups. In fact, that's the best part of Blazing Lazers, some of the weapons in the game are all really fun to use. The reason that this game was so popular back in the day is because it's not as punishing as some of the other 2D shooters around, it's easy to earn extra players and the enemies don't feel immediately overwhelming. If you're a casual shooter fan then these tweaks make for a much less frustrating experience. But don't worry, pro gamers, Blazing Lazers does offer something for everybody. It's an exciting single player game that manages to get just about everything right.

Does It Still Hold Up? When Blazing Lazers was first released the critics loved it, the game was generally considered one of the best 2D shooters of the year (not only on the TurboGrafx-16, but on all consoles). With so many years separating then and now it's hard for the game to feel new or fresh, but it does manage to offer an exciting (albeit slow) shooter full of great weapons and levels. Like all 2D shooters, the game play can be a bit repetitious, but if this is your kind of genre then you've already taken that into account and are ready to kick some alien butt.

Is It Worth The Money? While there are better 2D shooters available on the Virtual Console, Blazing Lazers does have a lot going for it. And while a lot of gamers have already played R-Type and Gradius III, Blazing Lazers will be a whole new experience for most. It's also appealing because it's only $6, which is a small price to pay for one of the best shooters of the late 1980s. Blazing Lazers' doesn't have the gimmicks of other shooters, but at the same time I would argue that it really doesn't need them.

What Is It? It's Joust, one of the most confusing old school games of all time. I'm sure to somebody this all makes a lot of sense, but in Joust you play a dude with a lance who is piloting a flying ostrich. That's right, a flying ostrich. Joust is a strange game (and not just because of the ostrich), you don't really shoot any guns or anything; instead you fly around the screen as you try and to damage the enemies by smashing your lance into them. This PlayStation 3 version features online play and leader boards, which is cool, even if the game is still confusing.

Does It Still Hold Up? I've never been a fan of Joust, so it probably won't surprise you to learn that I'm not a fan of this PlayStation 3 port. The good news is that the game is pretty much arcade exact, so you can bring in a second player and fight it out. The bad news is that the game is still as boring as ever, with inaccurate gameplay and a level structure that is nearly as repetitive as the original Pac-Man. I suppose it does say something that Joust is easy to play on the PlayStation 3, but that doesn't mean it's worth playing on Sony's $600 console.

Is It Worth The Money? I'm sure there are people out there that love Joust, but there has to be a better way of getting this game than buying it off of the PlayStation 3 store. I suppose it's nice that it's been upgraded with leader boards and online play, but I'm not sure that's worth the $5. Then again, I'm not the Joust fan, so your mileage may vary.

What Is It? Rush 'N Attack ... get it? Y'know, like Russian Attack. Uggh. Okay, so it has a stupid name, but that's because it was released around the time of Red Dawn and all of those other Cold War-related movies. This is a game that is all about paranoia and violence, most of which is you stabbing and using your crazy assortment of weapons (flame thrower, RPG rounds, and grenades). There are only four levels, each requiring you to do pretty much the same task: run from left to right killing anything that gets in your way. The enemies are fast and mean, but thanks to your superior knifing ability and crazy weapons, Rush 'N Attack actually becomes pretty easy. This Xbox Live Arcade version does offer a couple of changes, including an option to "enhance" the graphics, online leader boards, and a weird multiplayer component. Some may look back at this game as a funny relic of the now-defunct Cold War, but Rush 'N Attack is hard to enjoy 22 years after it was released.

Does It Still Hold Up? Not even a little bit, Rush 'N Attack is made up of one weird design decision after another. For one thing you push the up directional button to jump, which actually makes the game hard to play. And as if that wasn't bad enough, you're also given the world's shortest weapon. Things get better when you pick up the flame thrower, but for some strange reason you only get three rounds. Another problem is that even with all of the enemies running at you; the four levels are so boring and flat that you'll grow board of them only seconds after entering them for the first time. I'm not kidding, this game absolutely does not hold up.

Is It Worth The Money? At 400 Microsoft Points ($5) you would think that this is a good deal, but it's not. I actually have fond memories of this game when it was in the arcade (and I was 7), but looking back at it now I have to wonder what I was thinking. I actually played through the entire game and found that I didn't remember anything past the first level. This can only mean one of two things: either I never beat the first level in the arcade, or I hated the rest of the game so much that I've spent the last 22 years doing everything I can to purge it from my memory.

What Is It? The second classic arcade game released this week for the Xbox Live Arcade is Xevious, one of the most influential 2D shooters of all time. That's not to take anything away from the influence that R-Type and Gradius had, but Xevious did a lot for the top-down, vertical 2D shooter. For one thing this is a game that allows you to not only shoot the enemies in the air, but also bomb tanks and houses that are on the ground. Every level seems to be designed around the idea that you'll have to worry about what's in the sky and what's in the ground, making for a brand new dynamic in the tried and true vertical shooter subgenre. This Xbox Live Arcade port doesn't do anything new or original; there are no enhanced graphics in this game. Instead we get an exact port of a game that many remember from their childhood, a game that doesn't get ported around much these days.

Does It Still Hold Up? With so many 2D shooters on the Xbox Live Arcade and Virtual Console it's nice to see one that isn't like everything else. While some may complain that it's nothing more than a gimmick, I personally love that you have to worry about both the sky and ground, it really makes for an interesting vertical shooter. Still, even though the game play is fun, Xevious is a short game that is extremely slow (especially when compared to newer 2D shooters). It definitely holds up better than Rush 'N Attack, but that's not saying a whole lot.

Is It Worth The Money? At $5 it's a toss-up, if you're the type of person that loved this as an arcade game then chances are you'll get a kick out of playing it at home. But at the same time so much of this game feels dated and not relevant. That's not to say you can't have a good time with Xevious, but it's certainly not the Xbox Live Aracde release that you stay up all night waiting for. It's better than Aegis Wing, but most will probably not want to spend $5 on a 25 year old game.