Every Thursday Defunct Games wants to take a moment and reflect on all of the classic games that were given new life. Thanks to video game compilations, Nintendo's Virtual Console, the Xbox Live Arcade and even the PlayStation 3, fans of retro games are able to find all sorts of crazy old games. But what games are good? How well have these games held up? Which ones should you spend your money on? In This Week In Defunct Games we plan on answering those questions in both written and audio podcast form. So without further ado I give you the podcast version of This Week In Defunct Games, followed by our full guide to the best (and worst) classic games of the week.
NOTE: Just because Cyril is off dealing with all the industry types at the E3 Media & Business Summit that doesn't mean that we're going to leave you high and dry. This episode of This Week in Defunct Games has been written by Wes Grogan. But don't worry, Cyril will be back next week to continue writing about the weekly dose of retro games! Until then, here's Wes ...
Air Zonk (Virtual Console)
What Is It?
Air Zonk is the absolute personification of a cute 'em up. Cute, vibrant characters blowing the crap out of each other. What more could anyone ask for, right? This game, released on the TurboGrafx 16, was created by the same people who made Gates of Thunder, and the high level of detail shows. The game is fast-paced without being frenetic and features some unique features, such as the ability to team up with a partner. As with most shooters, you're not really going to care about the storyline, but the end boss is the same King Drool that appears in the Bonk games. To get to him, you shoot anything that moves using a wide variety of unique power-ups. Everything from flaming feet to a deck of cards are featured as weapons, and you will be thankful for every edge you can get. This game can be tough and unforgiving at times, but never to the point of not being fun. Air Zonk isn't considered to be the best shooter of all time, but it's definitely considered to be very unappreciated.
Does It Still Hold Up?
This isn't Ikaruga by any stretch of the imagination. The graphics are late-gen 8-bit, the pace is slower than later "Bullet Hell" games, and Zonk is no Mario. All of that aside, Air Zonk has never really been duplicated, which means that this game continues to be unique and viable. The TurboGrafx has always been known for its shooters, ranking right up there with the Dreamcast in that regard, and Air Zonk (along with the also released Dragon Spirit) is an excellent example of why it got this reputation. The game is quirky, irreverent, and absolutely fun to play. If you prefer story over action or insist on the latest and best graphics, this game is definitely not for you. If you want to play something a little different and not-quite typical, Air Zonk is still able to deliver.
Is It Worth The Money?
As I said above, if you're not looking for a shooter game, there's nothing to appeal to you here. The story isn't compelling and the game is definitely not a sandbox. If, however, you're interested in playing a cute 'em up that you probably haven't experienced before, you could do far worse than Air Zonk. It's funny, adventurous, and offers a decent amount of length with its five levels. I'd say it's definitely still worth the $6 Nintendo is asking for. As always, though, individual results may vary.
Mach Rider (Virtual Console)
What Is It?
If you ever want to describe to someone what a mediocre game is, Mach Rider is one of the best examples you could use. Think of Hang-On and Rad Racer mixed together, sprinkle in a bit of asinine story, and you've got Mach Rider. Basically, you spend the game on your motorcycle blowing up generic cars, shooting oil cans, and avoiding water and oil spills. If this sounds like something you've done before, it's because you have. Over, and over, and over, and over, and over. To its credit, it was one of the original launch titles for the NES, but that's about all that is has to sing about. According to the story, "In the year 2112, the Earth has been invaded by evil force." Better go and kill all of them. After all, "You are Mach Rider"! The soundtrack can be catchy at times, but it'll get old pretty quickly as it loops over and over again, and it did get remixed for Super Smash Brothers Melee. Compared to the Atari 2600 the graphics look incredible, but they're nothing to write home about for the NES. The system needed launch titles, and Mach Rider was definitely a launch title.
Does It Still Hold Up?
Absolutely, positively, certainly, and amazingly not. This game screams 1985, from the main screen to the annoying Engrish. There are a ton of motorcycle games out there, a ton of car combat games out there, and thousands of alien invasion games. Almost every single one of those games does it better than this one. Mach Rider is simply run of the mill, and it hasn't aged well at all. I would probably be more kind to this game if it were still 1985, but having seen where the action racing genre goes, I simply can't be forgiving regarding how it's aged. There's nothing to gain from playing this, no kernels of wisdom or retro-tastic goodness hidden inside. It's a guy on a motorcycle dodging oil cans.
Is It Worth The Money?
Five bucks is too much for this game. If you had the chance to play it for free, it might be worth it for a little bit, but there's nothing to justify paying to play this. It's a curious little piece of history for the fact that it was one of the first eighteen NES games, but it was also one of the first eighteen NES games. This means that the game is limited in almost every way possible, from graphics to game play. Wait for the inevitable release of Rad Racer or any number of other superior racing games.
Yoshi (Virtual Console)
What Is It?
This is a quirky little puzzle game made by Nintendo and designed by Shigeru Miyamoto. Coming out in the "Age of Puzzles" it was lost in the sea of other puzzle titles that desperately followed Tetris, but this is actually one of the better ones. You can't approach this with a Tetris frame of mind. Instead, the ultimate goal is to create eggs, which in turn spawns Yoshi. To do this, you play some random guy in a red shirt and blue overalls who looks strangely familiar, switching platters to catch falling objects. If you catch those objects between two halves of a Yoshi egg, the entire collapse will collapse, making much-needed room for more objects to fall. You're constantly switching and rotating the platters to best balance the falling objects and create the most points with the least amount of trouble. In short, it's actually a lot of fun. I highly recommend playing this one with the sound turned off, though. Talk about making the ears bleed ... Yeesh.
Does It Still Hold Up?
Other than the audio, the game is still an enjoyable puzzle experience, fairly unique from others on the market. Sure, the addition of Mario and Yoshi may be frivolous, but it's not like Sega didn't do the same thing with Dr. Robotnik's Mean Bean Machine. What sets a puzzle game off is its ability to make you think differently, and a truly great puzzle game gives you options on how to make the most points, balancing risk with reward. Yoshi does all of these things with great success, which makes it a puzzle game that is definitely worth playing.
Is It Worth The Money?
For five bucks, Yoshi is definitely worth it. You might not spend hours a day on this game, but you'll find yourself firing it up from time to time when you want to kill an hour or two and feel like you're exercising your brain. The game lacked any kind of memory back-up, which was still common at the time of its release, so there's no way to save your high scores, but there's still plenty of bragging rights in a well played game. It lacks flashy graphics and seriously lacks any kind of enjoyable audio, but the game play is dead on and well paced, going smoothly from easy to challenging. In my opinion, that's enough to make it worth playing again, or discovering for the first time.
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