This Week In Defunct Games - April 5, 2007

What Is It? These days we are spoiled by video game systems that can push out hundreds, thousands and maybe even millions of polygons at the same time. We sit here watching amazing 3D graphics and not even batting an eye at all of the hard work that went into making that explosion look just right. But 15 years ago this was not the case. Back in the early 1990s we were used to 2D graphics and limited (usually bad) 3D effects. But all that changed when Nintendo announced their special 3D chip and the game Star Fox. While Star Fox was not the first game to use 3D polygons, it was the first to get it right and appeal to a mass market. Four years later and Nintendo would try to wow the world once more with the release of Star Fox 64, the first Nintendo 64 game that used the "rumble pack." While the idea of force feedback still remains (for the most part) the appeal of Star Fox has been lost over the years. Star Fox 64 is regarded by many as the last great Star Fox game, it follows a team of animal pilots as they blow stuff up and dodge asteroid fields. While it looked better and was a much faster game, some of the joy of the original Star Fox was lost because it wasn't as new or original anymore. Having said that, it's hard to deny that a lot of people have fond memories of this Nintendo 64 game.

Does It Still Hold Up? I've never been a big Star Fox fan, so maybe I'm not the one to just this title. When it comes to Star Fox I have always been left feeling a bit cold, while the idea is good I've never been real impressed with the execution. The first game was a technical marvel, but going back and playing it now is hard to do (it's slow and extremely ugly). This Nintendo 64 game is better; it certainly looks good and is somewhat more fun to play. The problem is that the game is very short; you can play through it in a number of ways, but that doesn't change the fact that you can see pretty much everything there is to see in a day or two. The good news is that the multiplayer modes still hold up, which may make this release worth your money (if you're into this kind of thing).

Is It Worth The Money? Like I said, maybe I'm not the one to say whether or not you should buy this. I'm not the biggest fan of the series, so I personally wouldn't pay the ten dollars for it. However, if you do like the Star Fox series then you can't go wrong with this game. In fact, I would go as far as to say that this is probably the last "good" Star Fox game, since the two GameCube versions were garbage and the Nintendo DS game wasn't much better. Some will probably like the game for the multiplayer and the fact that there isn't anything like this out on the Wii, but as far as I'm concerned this is one of those relics of the time. You could do a lot worse (like our next game), but there are better Nintendo 64 games on the Virtual Console already.

What Is It? It's the first Nintendo Entertainment System outing for the popular Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and right in time for UbiSoft/Ultra to capitalize on the success of the recent CGI TMNT movie. While people have fond memories of the second Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles game released on the NES (the port of the arcade game recently released on the Xbox Live Arcade), this first game is widely considered to be a major disappointment. This is a challenging (read: mind numbingly difficult) game that features both top down and sidescrolling action, neither of which is very good. Its popularity at the time was due to the success of the Turtles themselves, and nearly twenty years later we're left with a game that almost nobody likes or wants to relive. But there are people out there that still feel that this is a good game (because they were very, very young when they last played it) and if this Virtual Console release does anything it will be to remind everybody how bad licensed video games were back in the late 1980s.

Does It Still Hold Up? This game was never good, so expecting the game to hold up almost twenty years later is like expecting Weekend At Bernie's to suddenly become Citizen Kane. There is absolutely nothing to like about this game, it's way too hard, the controls are absolutely awful and it never quite captures the excitement (and pure dumb fun) that was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon/comic book. When you were eight you might have been able to forgive some of these problems, but playing this game now is an exercise in pure torture. If you have cancer you need to cut it out, and I hate to say it but this Turtles NES game is a cancer. Ubisoft, you should be ashamed of yourselves for giving in and allowing Nintendo to contaminate the Virtual Console with this crap.

Is It Worth The Money? I would rather spend the money to have somebody take a frying pan to my crotch, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles NES game is not just bad, it's criminally disturbing. I would hope that most people who would want to buy this game either still own it or have moved on, because anybody that sits down with this NES emulation is bound to hate teenagers, mutants, ninjas AND turtles for the rest of their life! And to make it even worse this game is $6, which is a whole dollar more than every other NES game. In fact, it's a full dollar more expensive than the far superior Xbox Live Arcade game! This game wouldn't even be worth it if somebody paid you to play it. Trust me, I have played a lot of bad games in my life, and this is one of the worst. I have three words for you: Avoid, avoid, and avoid!

What Is It? This obscure TurboGrafx-16 game is probably the find of the week, if only because it's one of those games that nobody bought back in the day. This is the bizarro version of New Adventure Island (and a slight update/remake to The Dragon's Trap on the Sega Master System). This is a slightly difficult game to classify, if only because it has cool open-world game play, some RPG elements and a lot of action. At its core it is an action game, but this has a little something for every type of player (except sports gamers, and for the most part the Virtual Console isn't set up to support sports fans). Like a lot of early TurboGrafx-16 games, Dragon's Curse doesn't look all that good, but it has plenty of great game play, tons of action and a compelling story (for its time). Like Military Madness and so many other great TurboGrafx-16 titles, this game has been given a second life on the Virtual Console.

Does It Still Hold Up? Not only does Dragon's Curse hold up remarkably well, but it also shows you the beginning of the open-world style of game play. This is no Grand Theft Auto, so don't buy this game expecting some giant world that you can freely explore. Rather this is a quaint world that you can revisit and move around at your own will. The game play is somewhat simplistic, but so is the case from many games of that era. The graphics suck, but if you can get past that you will find an engaging adventure that stands up surprisingly well.

Is It Worth The Money? At six dollars it's hard to turn a game like this down. The brilliant thing about the Virtual Console is that you can finally enjoy games that you missed the first time around, and Dragon's Curse is a real gem. While everybody will probably be going after Star Fox 64, Dragon's Curse is probably my favorite game of the week. This is the kind of game I would pay twice as much for, so six dollars is a real steal.

What Is It? After releasing a bunch of shooter compilations on the Sony PSP Konami has found time to port some of their greatest arcade games to the Nintendo DS. This is a compilation of 15 different arcade games, including Contra, Yie Ar Kung-Fu, Time Pilot, Rush 'n Attack, and Scramble. You also get Gradius, Track & Field, Circus Charlie, Rainbow Bell, Basketball, Roc 'n Rope, Pooyan, Shaolin's Road, Road Fighter, and Horror Maze. You may not know all of the games (and not all of them are worth your time), but there's enough stuff here to warrant a look. If you're a fan of classic arcade games and you own a Nintendo DS then you can't go wrong with a collection like this. Unfortunately there are a few drawbacks to this collection, including a screen that does not work for many of these games. It's also worth mentioning that the games in this collection are arcade games, so don't go in expecting the NES version of Contra. Outside of those minor complaints, this is a great compilation that shouldn't hold over older gamers as they wait for the next big Nintendo DS game.

Does It Still Hold Up? Some of the games don't hold up as well as others, but you'll definitely find that most of the games are still a lot of fun. Like most arcade games of the era, you won't be able to play many of these games for too long before you want to move on to something else, thankfully there are enough games in this package to keep you entertained as you switch from one arcade game to the next.

Is It Worth The Money? This collection is worth every penny of that $30. While it's true that you can find better collections for cheaper (Sega Genesis Collection on the PS2, Midway Arcade Treasures, etc.), it's worth the money to own each and every one of these arcade games. Sure some of the games aren't very good, but considering that Konami is charging $5 per game on the Xbox Live Arcade you're getting a huge discount with this set. I wish the screen wasn't so small, but that's just what happens when you buy a portable video game collection. If you can get past the few minor problems associated with the format you'll find that this is one of the best video game collections of the year.