Defunct Games is in search of the worst video game idea possible. I'm not talking about games that actually exist, but rather titles that are so terrible that no company would ever, EVER green light them. In the past few episodes we've looked at
Yoshi's Fart + Go (Nintendo 64),
Halo: COPD (Xbox 360) and the Nintendo DS version of
Friend Codes DS. While all of these ideas are terrible, I'm happy to say that we may have found something even worse! That's right, it's time once again to plug our noses and check out another exciting episode of WORST. GAME. EVER.
Atlas Shrugged (Konami)
[ Nintendo Entertainment System - MSRP: $69.99 - Release: 1988 ]
Back of the Box Description:
"Konami is proud to present a game thirty years in the making! Inspired by the works of Ayn Rand and developed by the company that brought you Jackal, Atlas Shrugged will change the way you think ... and play!"
Brief Synopsis:
Based on the 1957 novel of the same name, Atlas Shrugged tells the story of capitalists, billionaires and tycoons all out to make a buck. Ambitious for the time, this 8-bit Konami game attempts to simulate some of the best moments from Ayn Rand's influential book.
Early in the game you play Dagny Taggart, an attractive young woman who is trying to save her family's railroad company. Her plan is to upgrade the rails using this brand new material, but the government is standing in her way. This wakes her up to the new reality, that the world has been plunged into chaos and the government has taken control. Is there anything left to do?
Instead of developing game mechanics to expand on the Atlas Shrugged universe, Konami decided to go a different direction. In what can only be considered a controversial move, the Japanese developer opted to include John Galt's seventy pages speech as one eight hour cinema. Unfortunately, due to cartridge size concerns, the cinema only includes a handful of pictures and three songs to listen to.
The game teaches you that giving to the poor, being selfless and helping those in crisis are bad things. This is a tough world and you should only think about yourself. Do what you can to improve your place
Perhaps due to low sales, Konami scrapped their adaptation of The Fountainhead!
in life, even if that means hurting everybody else in the process. Mock the less fortune and ride the train to success. At least in that sense, Konami was able to capture the essence of Ayn Rand's book.
Sample Review:
"Offering an eight hour cinema you can't skip is one thing, but Konami makes the whole thing that much worse by removing all punctuation and making us push the "A" button after every page. Atlas Shrugged isn't a game so much as it's a form of extreme torture. It's like playing a sports game where all you do is read the rules of the game. This is worse, because at least the rules to baseball make sense."
Fun Fact:
Most Atlas Shrugged apologists dismiss the same review because of the writer's perceived biases. These lunatics haven't played the game or even watched the above video; they are just looking for a fight. They won't accept that the free market worked. The people have spoken, and they are not interested in an 8-bit game centered around railroad negotiations. Oh, and before Ayn Rand died of lung cancer because she trusted cigarette companies more than state-funded scientists, she was on Medicare receiving social security.
[Think you can come up with something worse than HALO 3 COPD? Maybe you should
send Defunct Games your idea! If the panel votes that you have the worst game idea possible, we'll send you one of the worst games of all time. I'm talking about Darkest of Days or Mortal Kombat Advance. Something truly awful that you will never forget. Something so bad that you'll curse the site every time you turn on your game system. If your idea is that bad, then we need to see it immediately!]
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