Defunct Games is in search of the worst video game idea possible. I'm not talking about games that actually exist, but rather titles that are so terrible that no company would ever, EVER green light them. In the past few episodes we've looked at
Yoshi's Fart + Go (Nintendo 64),
Halo: COPD (Xbox 360) and the Nintendo DS version of
Friend Codes DS. While all of these ideas are terrible, I'm happy to say that we may have found something even worse! That's right, it's time once again to plug our noses and check out another exciting episode of WORST. GAME. EVER.
Carlos Danger (Activision)
[ Atari 2600 - MSRP: $49.99 - Release: 1982 ]
Back of the Box Description:
"You need strategy and fast moves to help CARLOS DANGER send pictures of himself to babes around the world. But beware of journalists and fame-starved women who seek to keep our hero out of office for good. It's a race against the clock as CARLOS DANGER balances politics, marriage and social media. It's a non-stop thrill ride that is picture perfect on the Atari 2600!"
Brief Synopsis:
What the back of the box isn't telling you is that this is a science fiction story about a future world where people can send nude photos of themselves ... OVER THEIR PHONES. This future dystopia stars a troubled politician who has a thing for taking pictures of himself and distributing them to random twentysomething women. It's our job to meet new women and take increasingly risque photographs, all while keeping the wife happy and running for political office. It sounds like a job for Carlos Danger.
The simple set-up is complicated when some of the women hire lawyers and spread rumors through the media. It's up to Carlos Danger to buy expensive phones and portable tablets to dodge suspicion and take better pictures. But you better be quick, because all it takes is one woman mentioning his high-heel fetish or premature tendencies and it's game over.
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Sample Review:
"Activision blurs the lines between game and interactive art piece with Carlos Danger, the controversial new Atari 2600 game. Instead of fleshing out what could have been an interesting political thriller, this cartridge spends far too much time trying to impress us with the full-frontal male nudity. The graphics are impressive, giving players the most realistic visuals yet. There are plenty of stages to conquer, though I found the gameplay quickly became too repetitive for my tastes. With a name like Carlos Danger, I expected something action-packed. Unfortunately, the whole thing left me flaccid."
Controversy:
Despite the fact that nobody has sex, Carlos Danger proved to be one of the most controversial games on the Atari 2600. The media pounced on the lewd screenshots and competing games publishers called for the game to be dropped from national retailers. Ironically, nobody said a word about The Adventures of David Vitter, a well-received ColecoVision game starring a bumbling idiot who frequents prostitutes.
