If you were flipping through a magazine and ran across this advertisement you probably wouldn't think much of it. I mean, it's a little gaudy and the screenshots aren't particularly impressive, but it looks like just about every other advertisement from the 1990s. But slow down there Mr. Speedy, because this seemingly average commercial has a lot of very strange information just waiting for you. For one thing, the advert has a strange robotcrush on your daddy, who is mentioned at least six times. It also features these long and rambling captions around some of the worst in-game photographs I've ever seen. There's a lot of text in this advertising, but the more you read the more you start to hate this game and the people that made it.

But here's the real problem with the game: It's hard to tell what the game is called. I know this is a minor complaint, but when you're advertising something you really should spend the time making sure that your target audience notices the name. Can you find the name of this game? Well, it's Iron Angel of the Apocalypse, and the only place you can find that info is by looking in the lower left corner of the page. There it is, using teeny tiny and a picture of the box that is incredibly dark and hard to see. It's not memorable and most people will just pass right by it when they scan the magazine.

The final straw is the caption next to the tiny box with the game's logo. It's bad enough that you offer pictures that are the opposite of compelling, captions that run on for miles and a strange daddy complex, but was it really necessary to actively suggest people hold off for the sequel? There it is, right next to the game's box art, "Cool game, huh? Wait until you see Angel of the Apocalypse: The Return." Well, if the sequel is coming out and it's even better, why would I bother playing this game you're trying to advertise? You wouldn't, and maybe that's for the best.

FROM: Will Work For Bad Advertising