There's an old saying that suggests that when push comes to shove, you really don't want to see who is on the other side of that computer. No matter if you're in a sex chat or playing a game of Halo, there's a 100% chance that the person on the other end is a disgusting blob of a person with bad habits and terrible breath. Oh, and they're annoying, too. It's true, and it's the sage advice that I live by. Every time I get an email from a reader I just assume that they look like a retarded cross between Sarah Jessica Parker and a freshly run over cat. Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting!

CompuServe wants to prove my instincts wrong. In this ad they are using their own costumers to sell their geeky shirts and coffee mugs. Here we have Mr. Bond wearing the "Binary" design, which looks like the kind of thing you might buy if you go to a really lame trade show or everything else is sold out at Disneyland. And guess what, there are no sizes for your girlfriend ... because let's be honest, you're a virgin loser who has never had (and never will have) a girlfriend. Sorry, somebody had to say it.

But we can't just run past the goofiest part of this advertisement, the fact that CompuServe has announced the newest Bond. Forget Timothy Dalton, Daniel Craig or that other guy that came between, THIS is your new Bond! Set for action with his acid-shooting water pistol, Billy Bob is ready to take on the worst of the worst with his gnarly moustache and his tucked in shirt. Nothing says suave super spy like a tucked in tee-shirt and haircut you did yourself in a mirror. All joking aside, you know he's cool because he's wearing a geeky shirt, has a water pistol and is a member of CompuServe.

FROM: Will Work For Bad Advertising