The Great Giana Sisters by Time Warp - Cover Review

Some video game covers make me work extremely hard to find something funny and out of place, they require me to do a lot of searching and spend my valuable time making them work in the confines of The Cover Critic. The Great Giana Sisters is not one of those games. This box art is so bad that I don't have to worry too much about finding things to say; instead I can just point out the obvious. But then, that's part of the problem I have with this cover, it's almost too easy to make fun of. This is low-lying fruit, the type that is just too obvious and probably not worth talking about in a show like this. But being the constant professional that I am, I have opted to leave The Great Giana Sisters in the mix just to bring us some balance from all these religious video games.

Instead of the Bible and Lords of something or other, The Great Giana Sisters is about a flying woman and her battle against dragons, lobsters, one-eyed blobs, those weird Goomba creatures from Super Mario Brothers, and something called a Time Warp that is either floating in the air or is attached to those mountains in the distance. All these things would seem completely unconnected if it weren't for one important part of this cover ... those mushrooms! This cover is clearly inspired by drugs, I mean, why else would she be doing disco moves in the middle of the air? And is that a glow stick in her hand? This is a game called The Great Giana Sisters, yet there's only one woman on the cover? What did Farrah Fawcett do with her sisters? Oh Farrah, I have a hunch you're going to feel real bad when you come down from that mushroom high you're on.