Quick: Name me a great playing game of table tennis? I suspect a lot of you think that Rockstar Games Presents Table Tennis is the only good ping pong simulator on the market. Well, you would be right ... but that doesn't mean we can't take a look at Table Tennis Simulation, an insanely bad Amiga game starring a pair of emotional turtles. That's right, turtles. Because when I think about the fast-paced sport of tennis the first animal I think of is the turtle. Obviously I'm being sarcastic, but surely the good people at Starbyte knew that people were going to make fun of the fact that you put the slowest animals on the planet in the middle of one of the fastest sports. What's next, a track and field game played completely with sloths? What were these people thinking?

But we need to reel this thing back in, because we clearly don't have time to talk about the trivial things. How can we sit around and make fun of the turtles when it's clear that that poor guy has a ping pong paddle shoved all the way through his hand? We laugh because it's a turtle, but if it was a human and there was red blood squirting out, I bet you wouldn't be so caviler about the whole thing. You sicken me. All you want to see if two turtles play tennis, even if that means shoving a paddle straight through their paw. There are things that a turtle just isn't equipped to do, and play table tennis is one of those things. So quit using videos games to live out your horrible fantasies, as far as I'm concerned this is still animal cruelty.