There's nothing I like more than a good girl-on-girl cat fight ... at least, I thought that until I saw this ghastly cover. So what we have here are two busty vampires from the 1980s. How can you tell they're from the 80s? Because they have bad breast implants and offensively terrible hair styles. Oh, and because Dracula appears to wear his sunglasses at night, which leads me to believe that Corey Hart is Dracula. Or maybe he's not; I think I'm going to need to do more research before I make a bold claim like that. Either way, these girls aren't helping each other's hairstyles much by grabbing and tugging. Then again, these two girls are so ugly that pulling their big hair over their hideous faces may actually be the best thing for everybody.

I hate to get side tracked on a rant, but what makes Dracula think that he can handle the polygamist lifestyle? With their sharp teeth and equally dangerous nipples, these two women don't look like the settling down type. Maybe that's why Drac us standing in the background trying to hide his eyes. If I was married to these two I would probably hide out in a coffin all day, too. But beyond Brides of Dracula, have you ever noticed that polygamy isn't a topic that is broached in many video games. And when it finally is brought up it's made to look dark and evil. Don't they know that all this game is going to do is give gamers the idea that they should be attracted to vapid blood sucking women who don't care about their feelings. In other words, this game wants you to date my ex-girlfriend.