Volleyball Simulator by Time Warp - Cover Review

Have you ever wondered what was going through the mind of people on video game covers? Well you don't have to think too hard about the thoughts in this kid's mind. While it may look like he's having a good time watching green volleyball players (all men, for whatever reason) engage in an exciting match, the truth is that he's a blood thirsty sociopath that is just waiting to kill the poor athlete who can't get the ball over the net or blows a big play. What he does next is almost too gruesome to put into words. He starts with the small green-ish legs, breaking each in multiple locations. And then he takes a piece of paper and cuts a very thin slice all the way up the body. After he pours lemon juice all over the victim he puts them out of their misery by squishing their tiny little heads. Funny thing, they may have green skin, but their blood is just as red as ours. And you'll notice that this sick bastard appears to be floating out in the middle of space. Does that mean that, dare I say, this sick nut job is supposed to be God? Talk about taking Volleyball back to the Old Testament.

Perhaps I'm looking too far into this cover. Surely Time Warp wasn't trying to suggest that this sweater-wearing sicko is the big man upstairs. But that still doesn't explain why this guy looks so excited to mass murder two teams of volleyball players. Upon closer investigation it's clear that the gamer's joystick appears to be malfunctioning. Unless I'm seeing something that isn't there, this guy's control is sending electrical charges out and shocking the man. Could that be the reason for his Batman villain-style bloodlust? Could that be the reason that these green volleyball players have rallied together to create a weapon that will one day free them from the tyranny of this game player? Godspeed to you little volleyball players, Godspeed.