It was exactly ten years ago that I first opened the doors of Defunct Games. It started as an excuse to play old games and defend forgotten game consoles, but it quickly turned into a full time profession. These days I'm playing through dozens of games a week, posting daily articles and keeping the flame alive. It hasn't been easy, but we've managed to make it through a full decade without causing serious damage to ourselves. At this point I'm willing to take any win I can get.

Part of what I like about Defunct Games is how we throw a lot of silly ideas at the wall and see what sticks. Over the years we've managed to come up with a few great ideas (if I do say so myself), but we're not always that lucky. Sometimes an article doesn't work out or overstays its welcome, in that case we do what anybody else would do -- we put it out of its misery. The last ten years is littered with interesting shows that were canceled for one reason or another.

What better way to celebrate Defunct Games' tenth anniversary than to look back at my biggest blunders. Here are some of the shows we've had to cancel over the years and why they met their untimely fate. Some of these took too much work, while others were just plain bad. And like the killer in a bad slasher film, you never know when one of these shows will spring back to life and drown your slutty girlfriend.

The Pitch: It's a show that makes snarky comments about other online video game-related shows. It's like The Soup, only with more Jeff Gerstmann and much less Wendy Williams. In each episode our hero (a recently deceased video game junkie) switches from one video game protagonist to the next. All along the way he makes snarky comments and plays some of the silliest clips we could steal.

What Happened? By 2006 I was looking to expand Defunct Games and broaden the site's appeal. I accomplished this goal by adding more video content to the site, hoping to attract gamers too cool to read two thousand word articles. I started simple, videotaping the happenings at two local gaming events -- Game On and the Penny Arcade Expo). These two episodes are nowhere close to perfect, but they did give me the experience with video editing and voice over. More importantly, it opened up a new world of creativity.

Taking my experience with the live shows, I decided to move on to something more ambitious. My first target was Devil May Cry. My plan was to imitate shows like Talk Soup and Best Week Ever. I would run embarrassing video from other video game sites (usually GameSpot and 1up) and make snarky comments. And best of all, I would use Dante as my avatar so that I only have to do voice over work. The first episode was a little rough, but I definitely accomplished my goal.

Over the next year I would produce six more episodes. These episodes included games as diverse as Silent Hill, The Legend of Zelda , Crackdown and even those adorable Mii Characters. The episodes were fun to put together and taught me a lot about creating an online television show. Looking back at them now I see all of the mistakes I made, but we're talking about content that is five years old.

Like a lot of things, After Thoughts became too much of a hassle to put together on a consistent basis. In 2008, I decided to give the show a new life. Instead of going back to After Thoughts, I decided to start a brand new show called MEGATON. It has a familiar theme and the same sense of humor, but it was easier to develop and offered a more cohesive story. Best of all, it allowed me to demonstrate the skills I had learned from working on After Thoughts.

Chance of Renewal: 0% - As far as I'm concerned After Thoughts is dead and buried. It has been replaced by a better show that is easier to work on. But don't worry, the spirit of After Thoughts lives on in MEGATON. It has the same sense of humor and visual gags; it's an all-around better show. Expect new episodes of that to start running any day now.

The Pitch: It's a 26-part feature that looks at every bad video game from A to Z. In each episode we would chronicle a group of terrible games for 8- and 16-bit systems. Each episode would fire cheap shots at these games until we exhausted the entire alphabet (and every bad game we could think of).

What Happened? The Notorious ABCs was originally conceived at the same time as I've Got Your Number, I always thought it would be fun to feature shows that dealt with numbers and letters. Back in 2003 I found myself playing a lot of really terrible games and unable to adequately vent my displeasure. The concept was intended to be therapeutic; however it quickly became more stressful than I had anticipated.

We got exactly two episodes in before I officially pulled the plug. Each episode would be named after a synonym for "bad" and would feature me unloading all of my hatred and aggression on these poor games. The first episode was titled A for Atrocious and warned gamers about Air Cars and the horrible Action 52 cartridge. B for Bad was the same concept, only this time around it a bunch of Batman games to kick around.

The show ultimately ended when I realized that venting my frustration wasn't helping. If anything it was making me even more upset about spending so much time playing the worst stuff on earth. I also worried about the repetition, which was painfully obvious even with only two episodes. I feared that having 26 episodes of me bitching about the same thing might get grating after a while, and would ultimately be a big waste of time. I had to cut some deadweight and The Notorious ABCs had to go.

Chance of Renewal: 25% - I wouldn't mind taking another crack at this show seven years later. In 2004 I was only starting to experiment with content on the site, so to do it now would allow me to give it the sarcastic style it needed all along. Still, there are already a lot of shows on Defunct Games that require me to be a snarky jerk; perhaps this one can continue to stay in the canceled pile.

The Pitch: It's like The Onion for video game fans. No, that's exactly what it is. It's literally The Onion but with video game related jokes. Seriously.

What Happened? There's a fine line between homage and blatant rip-off. Newsphile was the latter. I won't make any excuse for it; this early Defunct Games show was nothing more than me attempting to be like The Onion. While it's natural to look at the success of others when starting a website, I'm doubt I'm supposed to take the concept and run. I may not have stolen any of The Onion's material, but it was painfully clear what I was trying to get away with.

Looking back at it now, there is some strong material in each of the four issues. There are some funny jabs at Rez and fishing games in Issue 1. The second issue featured an expose on a man who fell asleep waiting in line for a Japanese Xbox. By Issue 3 we had added a classified section. And the final issue was a satirical look at the second Iraq War. There's some good material in each issue, even if much of it is dated.

It's easy to come up with a few jokes here and there, but I quickly discovered the grueling work that went into making Newsphile. There's something to be said about having other people to bounce ideas off of, but in 2002 the entire staff was comprised of me and my office chair. As a result I had to consistently come up with funny headlines, all while I was already hard at work on other taxing features. The end result was me pushing Newsphile to the side. It simply became too much work for its own good.

For what it's worth, a lot of the ideas I had for future Newsphile episodes were tunneled into other projects. Popular shows like Guerilla Scrapbook, Worst Game Ever and Video Game Advice (Working Title) all came from Newsphile. Nine years later I'm still amazed that my horrible HTML code from 2002 still looks good. Oh the simpler times.

Chance of Renewal: 10% - I'm always a little surprised when I hear people request more episodes of the Newsphile. This is usually followed up by a long story about how they've been fans of the site for years and years. Sure it's a blatant rip-off, but a lot of the jokes hold up surprisingly well. I get the love and would really enjoy making another episode. But after so much time I feel like there's a lot of pressure. And the competition has been so good for so long that it's almost not worth doing at all. There's always a chance, but I wouldn't hold my breath.

The Pitch: It's a podcast about a guy who listens to everybody else's podcasts and plays the worst bits. He also makes fun of how terrible everybody else's podcasts are, all while he has an even worse one. Hilarity ensues.

What Happened? In a lot of ways Somebody Else's Podcast was an obvious next step for Defunct Games. I had just finished up my short time with After Thoughts and was looking for a similar project. More specifically, I was looking for a similar project that didn't require me to waste all of my time. At this point I was already listening to hours of podcasts each week, so the idea of making fun of everybody else's worst moments felt natural to me.

After toying with a few ideas, I eventually settled on a title and format for Somebody Else's Podcast. I decided to make it a fairly low-key affair; it's a podcast after all. Even with my outdated equipment, the first episode went off without a hitch. The reception was so good that I had no problem making nine more episodes without a break. The show was popular and we were starting to get some traction.

As time went on I found myself listening to fewer video game podcasts. My life suddenly became busy with other things, which left it hard for me to pull out choice quotes. Another problem is that video game podcasts started to improve. The worst of the bunch eventually went away and the new podcasts are more polished than ever. I was having to dig through a lot of smaller shows in order to find the best content, and that became time consuming at an hour a pop. I simply couldn't afford to devote that much time to listening to podcasts, which spelled certain doom for Somebody Else's Podcast.


Chance of Renewal: 100% - It's not a question of if Somebody Else's Podcast will come back or not, it's a matter of when. I can see this fan favorite fitting in with the new podcast initiative I will be announcing next week. Don't look for Somebody Else's Podcast to return anytime in the near future, but I can guarantee that there will be another new episode ... eventually.

The Pitch: Two opinionated gamers discuss what they like and dislike about some of the most memorable characters of all time. From fighting games to platformers, every character gets judged and scored. How did your favorite video game hero fare? Find out when we dive into the Player Select!

What Happened? Player Select is one of those simple concepts you throw out when brainstorming ideas. Who needs to come up with anything clever or witty when you can review classic video game characters? And there are so many to choose from that the possibilities are almost endless. Heck, why stop there? Why not expand into boss reviews, level reviews and a whole article dissecting the first levels of games. It's easy to see how Player Select is nothing more than a slippery slope for other lazy articles.

Between 2003 and 2006 we published a total of three episodes. They included the cast of Street Fighter II, first-person heroes and everybody from Mortal Kombat II. These episodes employed the writing talents of longtime friends of Defunct Games, such as Justin Smith, Lee Miller and John Bertagnoli (who would later demand his name be changed to John Xavier).

In 2009, John and I decided to resurrect this forgotten series. We retooled the show's design and took another stab at it. This time we tackled famous mascot characters and it was an overwhelming success. But even with the renewed success, something still didn't feel right. I planned for future episodes, but quietly I scuttled them in order to work on bigger and better features. Somewhere I have a folder with nothing but half-finished episodes of Player Select.

Chance of Renewal: 90% - I have laid down the ground work on several different occasions for new episodes of Player Select, but they never seem to pan out. It's only a matter of time before everything works out and we get new gamers together for a new episode. I have plenty of great ideas swirling around my head (Metal Gear Solid characters, Grand Theft Auto protagonists, etc.), but there's always something holding me up. Perhaps that will change after I publish this anniversary article.

The Pitch: It's a game show in which we quiz everyday people normal video game questions to see if they get them right or wrong. But here's the catch - they aren't being tested, YOU ARE! Your job is to read the question, look at the picture and determine whether you think they got it right or wrong. It's a simple game with addictive results.

What Happened? This is, without a doubt, one of my favorite shows. Not only was it fun to play, but I had a great time putting it together. I remember ending all of my E3 interviews with these super easy video game questions. It was fun to watch them squirm, especially since I knew it would be going on the web for all to see. Plus, it gave me the opportunity to go to local game stores and talk to everyday gamers. Service Gaming: The Show is one of the best ideas I've ever had.

Unfortunately, some good ideas are limited by web know-how. From one move to the next, eventually Service Gaming became unplayable. It certainly wasn't on purpose; I would love to continue offering brand new episodes. We tinkered with it a few years ago, but it wasn't enough to withstand the most recent move. At this point the show would need a full make over, something that I'm not prepared to work on at the moment.

There's a darker story to the demise of Service Gaming. One of the industry types we interviewed was Jason Montes, who was stuck doing Hudson PR back in 2006. Three years later Jason would be part of a tragic murder/suicide, but he was excited to play our game when we met. Even though these sad events happened years later, it always cast a dark cloud over a possible resurrection.

Chance of Renewal: 60% - If I could come up with a working interface (most likely does through Flash) I would be up for new episodes of Service Gaming. I love getting out there and asking inane questions, especially at conventions and other industry events. Unfortunately I don't see this in my schedule. If you're somebody who loved Service Gaming: The Show and knows a thing or two about making Flash games, you should drop me a line immediately.

The Pitch: This monthly feature counted down the top five articles of the last four weeks. Not only did it offer compelling reasons to read each article, it gave some behind-the-scenes information about the writing process. This feature was also a good way to catch up on recently posted reviews.

What Happened? Believe it or not, it takes quite a bit of time and energy to publish each article on the site. It's not like Defunct Games has a huge staff, there are times when it's just one person posting daily articles. It's only natural to want as many people to see your articles as possible, especially after so much work went into them. Because it's easy to miss an article here and there, we devised a fun article that recapped the best articles of the month. We called it RECAPPED!! (I'm not sure why).

As simple as the idea was, actually writing the article was a giant burden. For one thing, I was forced to rewrite huge chunks of my article, which never made any sense. I also had to come up with post-article thoughts, something that wasn't easy to do when the feature posted a day or two ago. And finally, the article took away a day out of the month that could have been used for something more interesting.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a lazy writer. I have no problem putting forth the energy to finish a four-thousand word article, but the whole process felt pointless. I felt like I was running in place, simply repeating what I've said before. Not only was it fruitless, but the process was incredibly boring. There has to be a better way to convey the same information, something that doesn't require so much effort on my part. Frustrated by the work, I officially shut down RECAPPED!! on the second day of 2008.

Chance of Renewal: 25% - I can see this show coming back with a different name and style. As much as I would like all Defunct Games fans to come to the site on a daily basis, I'm realistic about how people use the internet. It makes sense to have a regular section that recaps the best features and reviews. What I don't want to do is get back into the grind of writing lengthy recap articles that take time away from better articles. If I can find that balance, then I would have no problem resurrecting this show.

The Pitch: Ever wonder what it would be like if VH1 was still making episodes of Pop-Up Videos? Are you curious what it would be like if it had a video game tilt? What if I told you that there would be no actual popping and the video has been replaced by a still image, would you still be into that? If you're still on board, then let me introduce you to Pop Up Video Games.

What Happened? If Pop-Up Video Games proves anything, it's that I'm always looking for an easy way out. Even in 2003 I was looking for ways to make speedy articles I could quickly post. This is what I would call a filler piece, something I would toss on the site when I had nothing else prepared. Because there was little writing involved, making an episode took no time at all. This was great when I needed more time to writing a lengthy piece or, more likely, needed another day off.

I ultimately published fifty episodes of Pop Up Video Games, covering games as diverse as Ecco the Dolphin, Tomb Raider, Bad Day L.A., BMX XXX, Max Payne, Mario Golf and even Fatal Fury. Even though the photo editing is occasionally rough around the edges, there is a lot of useful information found within those fifty episodes. My goal from the start was to accidentally teach people facts, something that I continue to strive for five years later.

By 2006 I no longer needed the Pop-Up Video Games; the content on the site was strong enough and no longer required filler material. Five years in I had honed my craft and had a real vision for Defunct Games. As much as I loved the simplicity of these informative pictures, it didn't fit in with the new direction I was taking the site. The show had a good run, but in the end it just wasn't needed anymore.

Chance of Renewal: 50% - I've toyed with the idea of bringing this show back in one form or another. I would love to do a regular video feature that incorporates the pop-ups. I toyed with the idea a few years ago in my Ninja Gaiden: Book to Game Comparison video. I am still interested in bringing the show back for the weekends or other occasions, though it would need a little sprucing up after all these years. It's not at the top of my priority list, but I can see myself pulling the trigger one of these days.

The Pitch: Imagine a Siskel & Ebert-style review show, only we swapped in video games instead of pretentious indie movies. The show was to be hosted by Cyril Lachel and Patrick O'Connor and take an in depth look at several different new releases. This was all done as a podcast and made available for the world to hear.

What Happened? I'm going to be honest with you: Reviews in the Hot Seat is painfully bad. It's the kind of bad that sends dogs into a panic and turns flowing water into fire. It's so bad that the U.N. is currently using it on their bombing run in Libya. It's the kind of bad that shouldn't be listened to by anybody who is pregnant (or hoping to be in the future). Reviews in the Hot Seat is the very worst thing I've ever done on Defunct Games.

The idea was simple enough, take a couple of opinionated gamers and have them talk about five new releases. It's the easiest thing in the world; people do that on podcasts all the time. We weren't trying to reinvent the wheel; we just wanted to have a professional review show to compliment the written portions of Defunct Games. Well, that didn't happen. Instead Patrick and I have zero chemistry and there's not a single second of insightful information in the entire podcast. It's a train wreck from beginning to end; one that I wish would go away forever.

The worst part of the experience is that I knew it was going badly right from the get-go. I didn't have to wait until I edited it together later, I could tell that this was going to be an awful experience as soon as I opened my mouth. We only published one episode, after that I focused on the more traditional written reviews. I feel like I owe everybody involved an apology, especially the companies that contributed product for review (including 2K Games). I promise to never do that again.


Chance of Renewal: 0% - Didn't you hear me? I promise to never do that again. Oh sure, I may toy with ways to expand the review section and reach different people, but I can guarantee that you'll never hear another episode of Reviews in the Hot Seat. You have suffered enough.

As you explore the many pages of Defunct Games, you may notice other shows that appear to be on the way out. There are certainly a lot of shows that appear to be on an extended hiatus. In fact, this 10th Anniversary article is the first new episode of A Brief History of Gaming in a year and a half. I wouldn't blame you for thinking that I had completely forgotten about this show.

I'm here to ease some of your concerns and shed some light on the future of your favorite Defunct Games shows. For example, it's been exactly two years (to the day) since we've posted a new episode of I've Got Your Number. Should you be worried? Not even a little, I guarantee that we're going to make it to lucky number 16. The same goes for Worst Game Ever. Expect new episodes within the next few months.

I also plan on bringing back the popular Video Game Advice (Working Title) for another season. It's been two years since we've tackled a problem and the fans are getting antsy (I still get emails requesting new episodes). And you can expect new content from Radio Free Gaming and DGC On Demand.

There is one question I get more than any other: When is Cyril Read coming back? Well good news, because the new season of Cyril Reads happens later this year! I'm hard at work at recording and editing the episodes, so expect to hear all kinds of news about that in the near future. I can't tell you what it's going to be about, but I expect a lot of peace walking and snake eating. You have been warned!